Today marks my first whole week in CT and two weeks as a graduate... It is weird to think that I am not going to school in August (at least for one year) and I don't have ready access to the ones I have felt the most comfortable with for many years (including my friends, professors/mentors, church family). Also - there is a restlessness and bored feeling that comes from being recently graduated and living in another place. I can take the time to explore other educational avenues, find a career that will lend itself to my dream career, and make all new friends and meet the love of my life (well, maybe - once I get past the gawky, awkward stage). There is also an element of homesickness to going on - whether I will openly admit or not is a whole different story.
In a few weeks, I start working at Kenwood/Kentmont Camp as a "Peanuts" counselor (working with those who aren't old enough to go to camp overnight for weeks but can go to camp activities). This camp is huge with over 800 individuals, including counselors from all over the US and other countries. Hopefully, this will help me branch out and meet new people.
Also, I have looked more in depth into graduate programs, including UConn, CCSU, and SCSU. I am hoping to get into the program at CCSU, which from what I understand has a master program in biology that is tailored to the field of biology the individual is interested in as well as being able to choose the mentor for the thesis. There is also a professor there that specializes in entomology - which is pretty exciting Although I may not prefer to be in a lab micro-pipetting for hours, I still want to research (mainly ecological/vector borne illnesses or psychology (I would probably be better suited for psychology)) in my niche (biology humor).
Let's see what the next few months hold!!!
Friday, May 26, 2017
Monday, May 22, 2017
Let's Talk About Mental Health
Mental Health Awareness... What does this mean to you? Do you know anyone, including family, that deals with a mental illness? What about accessibility to treatments for these mental illnesses?
I recently graduated from college... and during my last two years of college - I struggled with OCD. Many of my obsessions are covert (hidden) and the compulsions are hidden well. As mentioned in my blog last May, I have dealt with this since elementary school and have been on medication for it for an extended period of time in my teens and early 20's. However, I got off the medication for it when I was almost 22 years old. OCD affects more than my own personal life, it also affected academics and made my college career feel like a rollercoaster at times. I never really noticed any problems academically other than I was distracted during testing. But a couple of years ago, I started bombing tests - however, it was only certain classes - the ones I wanted to do well in. During my fall semester of senior year, problems were arising - including the time I spent 3 hours on a test - and I was so stressed out that I didn't do well on it at all (and had to drop the class ultimately). Towards the end of the semester I confided in my neuroscience professor that I was obsessing that I was failing her class (I knew it was irrational - but it was a big step for me) and had calculated and recalculated my grade to quell the incessant thoughts - and it was a matter of reassuring me that I was close to a B in her class. In addition to the testing and numerical obsessions, I have also had obsessions/compulsions related to body image (repeatedly trying on clothes because I thought I wouldn't be able to wear them again and checking my teeth).
This past semester was huge with me confiding in several professors and even family (previously it had only been mentioned to a counselor and a couple of friends) about the impact of obsessions/compulsions on academics and I have been able to gain insight on how to work on that for graduate school. Also having the awareness has allowed me to be able to control the intensity of the intrusive thoughts and compulsions before they become distressing. Lastly, the support I had from friends, family, and professors was great - they encouraged me, listened to me explain my thought loops that were distressing, and genuinely loved me. I also learned I was a lot stronger than I thought when it came to living my life and succeeding.
I also recently learned from another perspective that OCD symptoms are ways of coping (as with other disorders) with things (i.e. stimming in autism, hyperactivity with ADHD, etc.). I also learned from Dr. W (the last few years since Behavior Modification) that it is important to not always label these disorders - but rather focus on the person and even the reasons behind the symptoms (antecedent - behavior - consequence (ABC)). These disorders are legitimate, but helping the person should be more important - through helping them to manage stress (which can ultimately lead to increased symptoms), social support (THIS IS SOOOO IMPORTANT), and medical/psychological interventions (medications, hospitalizations, therapies). In our society, mental illnesses have been seen as a burden or as "bad" but they really aren't and shouldn't be labeled as such.
In addition to the struggle I have with OCD, I also learned about other people's battle with various disorders ... I have met many people who are functioning well despite their battles with depression. One of them hasn't been able to receive the appropriate help but has a good support system, yet she is doing well in her classes and plans to go for the BSN program that was recently started. I met another person who also has OCD and Tourettes - it was an awesome moment when he told me and was surprised to know I knew what Tourettes was. He is doing well academically aside from the two disorders... these are only a few of the experiences that I have learned about... This has helped me with coping with these obsessions and compulsions.
There are many disorders that are classified as mental illnesses including eating disorders, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder (I and II), schizophrenia, schizotypal disorder, addiction, and personality disorders (and probably others I am failing to mention). These disorders can be very mild (allowing for a fully functional life) to severe (where the individual needs constant supports). With the right treatments and appropriate healthcare a person can be a successful individual and member of society.
Friday, May 19, 2017
The Beginning of a New Chapter
I arrived with my parents to CT tonight. They surprised me with a trip to the Outer Banks for graduation... The trip was fun, we went to the beach, pool, wildlife refuge, the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse, Wildlife Refuge, and a jeep ride where we were able to see Spanish mustangs by the coastline. Additionally, I got a new camera (with my graduation money), driving lessons, and a guitar... plus money and gift cards. I just now have to get settled into the after undergraduate life...
While at the beach, I forgot my glasses... for those who don't know, I have astigmatisms in both eyes (messes with my depth/visual perception) and I am nearsighted. I was walking on the beach and managed to walk too far the other way, which is rare for me to lose track of where I am at... When I realized it, I was long past hungry, thirsty, and was a bit sunburnt - so I was a bit frustrated yet determined to get back to the condo although I could barely make out the buildings on the coastline. This was definitely a very familiar feeling to what my life has felt like and will continue to feel like - especially entering this new chapter of my life. I definitely struggled with homesickness while there, but it is time for me to begin my life after college - and I will have the support of my parents and ability to learn more about them.
More blogs on different topics soon!
While at the beach, I forgot my glasses... for those who don't know, I have astigmatisms in both eyes (messes with my depth/visual perception) and I am nearsighted. I was walking on the beach and managed to walk too far the other way, which is rare for me to lose track of where I am at... When I realized it, I was long past hungry, thirsty, and was a bit sunburnt - so I was a bit frustrated yet determined to get back to the condo although I could barely make out the buildings on the coastline. This was definitely a very familiar feeling to what my life has felt like and will continue to feel like - especially entering this new chapter of my life. I definitely struggled with homesickness while there, but it is time for me to begin my life after college - and I will have the support of my parents and ability to learn more about them.
More blogs on different topics soon!
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
Reflection On These Last Four and Half Years
It has been almost a week since graduation. These past four and a half years have taught me so much and I have overcome so many odds. Things are a bit up in the air at the moment, but that is okay. I have grown so much, both as a student and in my own personal life. Down below are some reflections from my 9 semesters of college - ranging from the good to the bad.
When I started as a freshman, things seemed to be all over the place. I was living in a rough situation but had a great support network from my high school and church that kept me going. Towards the end of my first semester, my life changed - for the better. I also came into college a bit clueless - including very little money sense, confidence, and the normal struggles we all have had as freshmen. I started my second semester of freshman year living on campus - and that was definitely different. I had never been away from home for long periods of time, but I adjusted to it. The biggest thing for me during that point in time was engaging in the student activities on campus. My friend C.M had to come into the dorm and get me to go to events, which I generally avoided. I also met Dr. C.H, who became my mentor throughout most of my time in college. She was very maternal, which at first, was something I definitely wasn't used to but ended up being a good thing for me to have in my life. At the end of freshman year, I reconnected with my father and stepmom through facebook.
Sophomore year was low-key. I met my other mentor, Dr. C., found out I had an interest (I never would have guessed spiders would become an integral part of my academic interests) in entomology, and was asked to help with mosquito research (in Panera Bread - and it still stands out to me, even to this day). During my sophomore year, I decided to go off of my medication for ADHD, and have learned to embrace both the positive attributes as well as the difficulties. Thankfully, I had a professor who was very observant and understanding of different learning styles, which helped me find ways to succeed academically. During this time, I had developed strong friendships with a few people, which have helped me to become a better person.
Junior year - this was probably the point in my college career that I struggled the most yet many opportunities revealed themselves. The first semester of junior year was the semester I took 18 sh, plus had a work study (10 hours a week). I took five classes, with three labs in three different sciences (experimental psych, gen chem, and parasitology) and I quickly learned I had no clue on how to manage my time well - especially since experimental psychology was time-consuming during my weekends. This was also the time in my college career I went back and forth between biology and psychology (I started off psychology then went to biology - then wanted to combine the two. This never worked out, however, I have 24 hours in psychology because of this and was considered an "honorary" psych student), Having the work study helped me with gaining money sense, as well as a feeling of being responsible. The second semester started off a bit rocky - partly in concern I was in the wrong concentration and a feeling of defeat from the previous semester when I had a lower GPA than I wanted to have. However, I pulled through the semester with the support of my friends and professors and EVEN SURVIVED ORGANIC CHEMISTRY! The first semester of junior year was when I learned I really enjoyed other types of psychology, especially behavior modification- even if it was challenging - and I even found ways to talk about behavior modification and psych studies. I also gained a love for vector borne diseases and ecology, although it felt like at the time I was barely making it. Also - the second semester I started working for public relations as their work study - and I did not think that I would ever become a writer, let alone be able to have work published. (and there was some kicking and screaming but it was worth it to have my work published)
Senior year - so many ups and downs in three semesters. The first semester felt like a continuation of junior year but it went well. I took classes that were interesting: entomology, health psychology, and microbiology. I developed my passion for collecting bugs, even collecting spiders for a week at a time (for identification and to watch them - although that wasn't the wisest idea on my end). This was also the time that I was hoping to graduate in December but in retrospect, I was not ready to graduate then. I had my first internship (the reason for starting the blog) and fell in love with field work and public/environmental health. I also saw how my background in biology, psychology, and environmental health became intertwined. The second semester was a bit of train wreck. I had struggled through physics, not really sure why - seemed to be a testing issue, but I never quite knew. I also took the hardest class I ever took in college (trumped all the chemistry courses), which was neuroscience. I am glad I took it but it was a lot of work with the labs and presentations, weekly discussion boards, two day lectures with a lab component, and the huge research paper/lab on steroids. I learned a lot and it was with on my favorite professors, who definitely made the class fun. I also got the opportunity to be an SI leader for Spanish. This definitely was an interesting job and I learned spanish again, ultilized psychology, and learned some about teaching. However, I had to drop physics and spent most of the semester with a nasty cough (seemed like bronchitis mixed with a sinus infection for two months straight) - later found out I had moderate asthma and stress worsened it. But I survived the semester with a solid 3.0 GPA, made new friends, and learned new things (also figured out how to intertwine different topics). The final semester wrapped up nicely and went much smoother than previous semesters. I managed to obtain a 3.43 GPA, while juggling 15 credit hours, add an extra 3 hours for Spanish (SI), being a supplemental instructor/tutor for Spanish, work study, research/presentation prep, on and off work for an internship (for a start-up nonprofit group) and what I do at my church - it was a bit of chaotic semester. I spent a lot more time with friends this semester, especially the last few week since I am moving 12 hours north of NC. I also have gotten to know some great new people and I am thankful for the lessons and things they have taught me.
Stayed tuned for some blogs on various topics...
When I started as a freshman, things seemed to be all over the place. I was living in a rough situation but had a great support network from my high school and church that kept me going. Towards the end of my first semester, my life changed - for the better. I also came into college a bit clueless - including very little money sense, confidence, and the normal struggles we all have had as freshmen. I started my second semester of freshman year living on campus - and that was definitely different. I had never been away from home for long periods of time, but I adjusted to it. The biggest thing for me during that point in time was engaging in the student activities on campus. My friend C.M had to come into the dorm and get me to go to events, which I generally avoided. I also met Dr. C.H, who became my mentor throughout most of my time in college. She was very maternal, which at first, was something I definitely wasn't used to but ended up being a good thing for me to have in my life. At the end of freshman year, I reconnected with my father and stepmom through facebook.
Sophomore year was low-key. I met my other mentor, Dr. C., found out I had an interest (I never would have guessed spiders would become an integral part of my academic interests) in entomology, and was asked to help with mosquito research (in Panera Bread - and it still stands out to me, even to this day). During my sophomore year, I decided to go off of my medication for ADHD, and have learned to embrace both the positive attributes as well as the difficulties. Thankfully, I had a professor who was very observant and understanding of different learning styles, which helped me find ways to succeed academically. During this time, I had developed strong friendships with a few people, which have helped me to become a better person.
Junior year - this was probably the point in my college career that I struggled the most yet many opportunities revealed themselves. The first semester of junior year was the semester I took 18 sh, plus had a work study (10 hours a week). I took five classes, with three labs in three different sciences (experimental psych, gen chem, and parasitology) and I quickly learned I had no clue on how to manage my time well - especially since experimental psychology was time-consuming during my weekends. This was also the time in my college career I went back and forth between biology and psychology (I started off psychology then went to biology - then wanted to combine the two. This never worked out, however, I have 24 hours in psychology because of this and was considered an "honorary" psych student), Having the work study helped me with gaining money sense, as well as a feeling of being responsible. The second semester started off a bit rocky - partly in concern I was in the wrong concentration and a feeling of defeat from the previous semester when I had a lower GPA than I wanted to have. However, I pulled through the semester with the support of my friends and professors and EVEN SURVIVED ORGANIC CHEMISTRY! The first semester of junior year was when I learned I really enjoyed other types of psychology, especially behavior modification- even if it was challenging - and I even found ways to talk about behavior modification and psych studies. I also gained a love for vector borne diseases and ecology, although it felt like at the time I was barely making it. Also - the second semester I started working for public relations as their work study - and I did not think that I would ever become a writer, let alone be able to have work published. (and there was some kicking and screaming but it was worth it to have my work published)
Senior year - so many ups and downs in three semesters. The first semester felt like a continuation of junior year but it went well. I took classes that were interesting: entomology, health psychology, and microbiology. I developed my passion for collecting bugs, even collecting spiders for a week at a time (for identification and to watch them - although that wasn't the wisest idea on my end). This was also the time that I was hoping to graduate in December but in retrospect, I was not ready to graduate then. I had my first internship (the reason for starting the blog) and fell in love with field work and public/environmental health. I also saw how my background in biology, psychology, and environmental health became intertwined. The second semester was a bit of train wreck. I had struggled through physics, not really sure why - seemed to be a testing issue, but I never quite knew. I also took the hardest class I ever took in college (trumped all the chemistry courses), which was neuroscience. I am glad I took it but it was a lot of work with the labs and presentations, weekly discussion boards, two day lectures with a lab component, and the huge research paper/lab on steroids. I learned a lot and it was with on my favorite professors, who definitely made the class fun. I also got the opportunity to be an SI leader for Spanish. This definitely was an interesting job and I learned spanish again, ultilized psychology, and learned some about teaching. However, I had to drop physics and spent most of the semester with a nasty cough (seemed like bronchitis mixed with a sinus infection for two months straight) - later found out I had moderate asthma and stress worsened it. But I survived the semester with a solid 3.0 GPA, made new friends, and learned new things (also figured out how to intertwine different topics). The final semester wrapped up nicely and went much smoother than previous semesters. I managed to obtain a 3.43 GPA, while juggling 15 credit hours, add an extra 3 hours for Spanish (SI), being a supplemental instructor/tutor for Spanish, work study, research/presentation prep, on and off work for an internship (for a start-up nonprofit group) and what I do at my church - it was a bit of chaotic semester. I spent a lot more time with friends this semester, especially the last few week since I am moving 12 hours north of NC. I also have gotten to know some great new people and I am thankful for the lessons and things they have taught me.
Stayed tuned for some blogs on various topics...
Thursday, May 11, 2017
What College Has Taught Me... (Lessons from Jan 2013 - May 2017)
- When I first started college I wanted to be an art/music therapist - that didn't quite last long (although the career ideas changed a variety of times)
- I discovered the Fred Stanback Jr Nature Preserve the first Month of being at Catawba and have since found the greenway, hidden trails, nearby neighborhoods and parks, and the nature trail a mile and a half from the school. I have had many adventures out there and have some of my best pictures from the preserve from all four seasons
- I met my mentor, who was very bold about her passion for mosquito research and malaria the first day of her intro biology class in her first day lecture
- Little did I know I would be asked to help with her research later on in the school year (after making fun of her for it) - later on led to my first internship at CHA
- During my freshman/sophomore year, I learned that I had a knack for languages - because of this I was asked to either minor in Spanish or to tutor/lead Supplemental Instruction - I choose to tutor/SI
- I learned that I had a passion for the environment and field work!
- After one of my professors brought in spiders and would let me see her photographs, I fell in love with spiders - I had never really paid attention to them before then but they are pretty rad - I also got the chance to see my professor document a green lynx spiders egg (that I found) development and learn about them first hand - which was awesome!
- I was recommended for a work-study position in Public Relations - which meant I could interview other people - which was a dream come true for my younger self (I wanted to be a journalist at one point). It also rekindled my interest in writing
- I took classes that I never thought I would take: Behavior Modification (which sounds boring - but it was a highly interesting class), Parasitology, and Entomology
- Many of my classes have led to me to research different topics outside of class including the brain, learning disabilities, microbiomes, vector-borne diseases, mindfulness, etc.
- I have a greater appreciation for research after taking Data Analysis, Experimental Psychology, Neuroscience, and Biological Research Methods
- NPR - I read articles when I have a few moments to spare and it is great for conversation starters
- I learned how to be healthier - both physically and mentally
- Passion - that is all - many of the best classes I took were taught by highly passionate individuals
- Lastly, many people come and go, but there are a few good friends that will stay with you and bend over backward and will still be there for you, even at your worst. You will also become friends with people you least likely think you would click with. I have had wonderful friends all through college and hope to keep in touch with them. Same for my mentors/professors. My mentor (the one mentioned in #3) was my campus mom - sharing coffee/food, making sure I have my inhaler, and the list goes on. I had another one who gave me advice and insight on different things, including academics, working in academia, and life in general. She also helped me figure out how I can best succeed academically.
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