Who am I and Who I am

I want to warn readers that this blog will be slightly philosophical in nature. This question is something I wanted to blog about after watching Mayim Bialik's videos and what it means for me now in this stage of my life.  These are common questions we wonder about from time to time, especially as young adults. Who am I? Where will I go to school, graduate school, work? What am I doing with my life? Will I fit in? Will I get married... etc. the list goes on and on.  

In several videos by Mayim Bialik, she talks about never fitting in and being a geeky mom.  NOW... this was surprising to me because she is super amazing to me. Especially since there are many people out there that are doing well in life but still feel like they aren't good enough or they don't fit in... She is an actress, got her Ph.D. in neuroscience, and is very adamant about what she stands for.  She is confident about herself/life, dresses modestly in public, and sticks to her morals/values, which I can only imagine as being difficult in Hollywood. 

Several months ago now, I moved to Connecticut after spending 20 years of my life in North Carolina and four and half years at a small college, where I felt the most comfortable... I felt like I lost part of my life - where there were people who understood my quirkiness, strengths, and likes/dislikes.  Yet - what I failed to realize was that I am still me.  My life has been influenced by so many people, from friends, church family, to mentors/professors. I still think about Dr. C showing me images of spiders and explaining the different species every time I go out with my camera or see a spider. I think about how taking creative writing in high school helped me realize my potential as a writer - even though I didn't want to for a while and how I am writing in my field now as a freelancer.  And also the influence of Dr. H as a mentor on my career path and how at times it seems like I am a bit like her (and so people say).  I think back to the day in Panera Bread when she asked me if I wanted to do research with her or making fun of her for studying mosquitoes and belly bacteria. And the list can go on and on... 

With this said, I am in the process of finding temporary jobs until I start graduate school and assistantship programs. It is easy to become discouraged and feels like I am not going in the right direction or feel "stuck" (a term I often use) sometimes. But with confidence is slowly building, I know who I am and where I am going - even if it doesn't seem clear at times. At the end of the day, I am glad that I have my four-year degree, have been able to have the opportunities research/intern/present, and am able to pursue a freelance job. I am strong, independent, compassionate, passionate, patient, creative, free-spirited, and active person.